PDA

View Full Version : Dan's Audio Thread


KoD-Dan
07-24-2005, 06:09 PM
General Information:
Name: Dan
Age: 18
Location: British Columbia, Canada

A little bit more about me:
Ok, let's see..

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small Village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Mexico, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

That about sums it up I think.
I copied this from DarkChrono who copied it from another source

Audio Commentaries:
Audios 1-10 are from a previous patch and are no longer hosted anywhere on the internet.

My Audios (http://kod-gaming.com/dan/)

I will not be making any more audio commentaries, but if anyone has any other questions feel free to ask. I made this profile because it was suggested and I figured that it would help to organize my material.

altqq
07-24-2005, 07:36 PM
You are god.

Make more audios, you lazy British Columbian stoner.

PancakeAbuse
07-24-2005, 07:49 PM
Wow... That discription is something special...

You doing audios again?

KoD-Dan
07-24-2005, 07:53 PM
I will not be making any more audio commentaries, but if anyone has any other questions feel free to ask.
?;(

AzN_SMok3
07-24-2005, 08:15 PM
Lol! That was the funniest description ever!

KoD-Dan
07-24-2005, 08:27 PM
I liked it too that's why I stole it from Chrono, who in turn stole it from someone else.
I copied this from DarkChrono who copied it from another source

AzN_SMok3
07-24-2005, 08:35 PM
I just went through your audios :O
cant believe i didnt hear them earlier its sooo funny!!
dont stop!

speierg
07-24-2005, 09:41 PM
Yeah, I can't remember where I first heard that description, but the story that went with it had something to do with it being an essay written by some guy on his college applications. It was one of those "feel free to tell us a little bit about yourself" essays. Very funny stuff. As the story was told to me, the guy got in to whatever University he was applying to. Don't know if it's true or not.

KoD-Dan
07-25-2005, 02:36 PM
Updated the audios with my 1 minute application to become staff, sadly it didn't go as planned.

mattbandelt
07-25-2005, 04:51 PM
man lmao @ the whole thing. What really had me on the floor was "I participate in full-contact origami". Dling now to see ths skills. Man this section of wcr rox.

Orange
07-26-2005, 07:36 PM
wow, you should do more audios just for kicks, appearantly they don't take too long for you. no offence, but I love your audios.

SwollenJizm
07-28-2005, 01:18 AM
dude wtf, out of all the commentators ur by far the best, if u stop ill kill ur family

The_Q
08-01-2005, 12:31 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, with the release of EverCraft, I have found it necessary to rehost DanAudio's 5-14, as well as his 1 minute application for Audio staff.

http://kod-gaming.com/dan/

Enjoy

L0tus
08-01-2005, 03:31 AM
Thnks Q

Funny-ass profile Dan.

I-SUCK-AND-LAG
08-12-2005, 11:22 AM
hahahahahahaha, heart the profile and heart ur audios, wish u would be makin more audios, each one ive listend to (like 4 or 5 or sometin idk) made me laugh my ass off