The Paradox of Time

[eFaReL]

Poetry Corner: George Carlin

The Paradox of Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up to late, get up-too tired, read to little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposible diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or just hit delete.

Remember, spend more time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.



Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you Psh, there is no one next to me. :disgust:

I hope most of you will realize that I did not come up with this, but it was done by George Carlin if you did not see his name on the top of the post.

[Ornbarn]

Wow. Very moving. Thanks a bunch for the post.

[chiral]

haha.
sounds like a song i've heard somewhere.
very nice.
w0rd.

[Vaulander]

One of the better posts on this site. Thank you.
V.

[Metal Militia]

Real nice keep it up

[eFaReL]

I like what this guy has to say


'Liberal' is a dirty word for George Carlin



Comedian George Carlin. http://www.azcentral.com/ent/gifs3/0124carlin.jpg

Michael Deeds
The Idaho Statesman
Jan. 24, 2004 12:00 AM


No other comedian consistently tweaks as many nerves, churns as many stomachs and terrorizes as many conservatives as George Carlin.

The man is a menace.

"The more resistance and discomfort I can feel from the audience, the better I feel," Carlin explains contentedly in a phone interview. "The happier I am."

Being a gleeful irritant has its perks. Carlin's resume includes 24 albums, 12 HBO specials, three Grammy Awards and five Emmy nominations. His next book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops," will be published later this year. Carlin also will enjoy his most significant acting role to date in this year's "Jersey Girl," which co-stars Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

At age 66, Carlin stands alone in his class.

Question: There aren't many big comedians over the age of 40. What keeps you so successful?

Answer: Uh, quality. It's a fact. I'm one of the best ones out there. I sell 250,000 tickets a year. There aren't many comedians in my age group that do that. Cosby probably does that ... I'm kind of singular now. I mean, I'm not being boastful or conceited. I'm being an accurate reporter of the facts. I'm pretty good at this. The reason it's lasted so long is I continue to grow and turn out new material.

Q: You don't do a lot of topical, current event comedy, do you?

A: I don't like topical stuff. It's too easy. Anybody can make fun of Bush. Hillary Clinton. Monica Lewinsky. Mike Tyson. That ... ain't hard. That's like shooting fish in a barrel. So I prefer going at things from an odd angle, different angle. I'm doing stuff about suicide ... I'm doing stuff about the fabric of space-time splitting open. I'm doing stuff about being a modern man with the language. So I'm just different, you know?

Q: Is being dark as important to you now as it was earlier in your career?

A: I don't know that I ever was (dark) - except now. I like testing people's limits. I like finding out what an audience feels uncomfortable with and pushing on that. That's the fun of art.

Q: You're known as a very liberal comic. Are you trying to change people's political views when you go out there? Do you have an underlying agenda?

A: No. First of all, I'm not liberal. I'm just about (being) anti-United States. I don't like the way this country operates. I think we've ruined this place. And I think it's largely because of businessmen. And businessmen are not liberals. So if that makes me a liberal, then that's just an association. It's not a choice. ...

I do not care about changing anybody. Nobody. I go out there to show the rest of the Americans how badly they're doing. This country has been, for about 180 years now, badly mishandled. And it's been in the wrong hands. It's been in the hands of the business interests.

And a lot of the beauty of this country has been shattered by them. The physical beauty and the kind of institutional beauty that was originally built into this place - this experiment, this magnificent experiment in democracy is just being shredded to pieces by these right-wing Christians, the Ashcroft branch of Republicanism. (They're) just shredding the rest of the Bill of Rights which hadn't been shredded already. (But) they'd been doing a pretty good job on it up until then, anyway.

Q: Do you feel like this country has progressed any way, shape or form in the past 20 years?

A: Everybody's got more jet skis and Dustbusters now and sneakers with lights in them. They've got more cheese on their thing that they buy. They get double helpings. See, Americans measure all their progress in the wrong way. They measure by quantity and by gizmos and toys. And not by quality and by things that are important.

The most interesting thing to me is that the things that people would seem to have the most right to have - that is to say health, food, shelter and a job are the things that are last on the list. To me, that is fundamental. Those are the things humans most need to function, and we have placed them at the bottom of the list. So I think that says a lot about national character and priorities.

[eFaReL]

Ok i am pretty much done with this guy so this will be the last post I will make of him.


Here are the best George Carlin quotes spoken by one of America's hippest comedians.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?


Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?


When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?


Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?


If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?


Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?


When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?


If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?


If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?


The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.


Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?


I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?


If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?


I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?


Is there another word for synonym?


If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?


Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?


What if there were no hypothetical questions?


Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"


Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.


What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?


If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?


Would a fly without wings be called a walk?


Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?


Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?


Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.


I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.


May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.


Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?


Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?


How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?


If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?


One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.


I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.


What was the best thing before sliced bread?


Electricity is really just organized lightning.


If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?


Women like silent men, they think they're listening.


"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?


Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.


If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?


One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.


Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?


Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?


Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.


How is it possible to have a civil war?


I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.


Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?


If God dropped acid, would he see people?


Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.


There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.


At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.


As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.


The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.


Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.


If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?


Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?


Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.


If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.


The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

[ZoSo-]

Thanks for the post eFaReL-, really enjoyed all of it , Carlin is such a good comidan, all of his stuff makes you think and laugh, them like 50 oxymorons you put up were great, i was actually laughing out loud , lol, they were great :)

[sTr1nG]

yea it was nice, and i dont read much :chef:

[TiGeR]

true comedy =)

[TiGeR]

ok here are some i know.

Why is it when two planes almost collide its called a Near Miss

Why is it a alarm Goes Off when it is turning on?

Can u make a candle out of your EarWax?

When French People Swear do they say Pardon My EnglisH?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup

Can you get cornered in a round room?


These and alot more at CrazyThoughts.Com

[eFaReL]

your welcome, for those who enjoyed the post of teh funny comedian George Carlin.