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Thread: How to catch a thief ?

  1. #1
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    Help me catch a thief wcr detectives !

    So, I have a few months left until I move out of my student dorm as I finished my studies a few months ago. For the last year or so we've had a food thief in our common kitchen (fridges have no locks or anything) stealing food from most people on random occasions.

    Until a month or so ago, I didnt get anything stolen (guess he didnt like my food as I eat really healthy and high protein). Then he started stealing my 0% fat lean turkey meat. It's been happening quite often. So I've decided to find out who he is and a) Beat the shit out of him b) Report him to the administration and get him kicked out c) Both a & b.

    The question is how do I catch him ? Basically, my fridge is used only by me and nobody has any business opening it. So I was thinking of setting up a hidden webcam covering my fridge and have it stream to an old laptop in my room. It'd be easy to recognize him afterwards and I only have to check the video recording if something is missing, otherwise I can just erase it daily.

    I call upon you internet detectives of wcr, anyone has any better ideas ? or any way of improving my chances ?

  2. #2
    300 Point Level GooN's Avatar
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    You can poison your food stash - not a real poison that would permanently hurt the guy, but something that would make him sick for a day or two so you can identify him. I've done that before and it works pretty well.
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  3. #3
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    ^ Hmm, the problem is we're 12 people that share the kitchen and sometimes I dont see people for longer periods of time, thus it would be hard to figure out if someone's sick or something.

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    300 Point Level enO's Avatar
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  5. #5
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    Put drops of lsd on the food the thief usually takes, but don't use the bunk stuff that ex0 takes that helps you concentrate.
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  6. #6
    800 Point Level Elven_Lord's Avatar
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    This is why you get your own small refrigerator.
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    1000 Point Level Cows's Avatar
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    fap into your food
    then if one of your roommates gets pregnant, you know its him
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  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by 12 students in a dorm
    The common kitchen looms large in the proverbs of the Roman populace. The dominant note is one of fear and distrust. "He who tastes of the 0% lean turkey in the common kitchen will die soon," is a saying that is heard to this day. "Tasting the cup of the great.success" means the sudden or mysterious passing out of this world into the next. Proverbs are not only crystals of wisdom but often reflections of history. The history of the Roman kitchen has been altered more than once by poison skillfully prepared and cunningly administered. In the biographies of popes and cardinals the tale of poisoning is not unfamiliar. Not all the poison in the common kitchen, however, was made by hands. There has always been the deadly venom conceived in the oven and distilled to the students even at this hour in the pulpit and the press and the dorms. The Inquisition, the St. Bartholomew massacre, wars between nations and civil strife, ills and woes without number have come from the toxic laboratory of the common kitchen, where they brew poisons for the mind in such infinite variety.
    http://www.reformation.org/borgia-ch5.html
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  9. #9
    1500 Point Level iNt]Jutai's Avatar
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    I can't tell you how to catch a thief, but I do know how to catch a predator.
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  10. #10
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    That awkward moment when even the wcreplays staff are trolling

    Ive found some pretty good software for monitoring and recording streams, with person detection and such. Now all I need is to find a small and cheap wifi webcam that I can connect to my laptop. The only problem is that thief could perhaps see the webcam on his wifi network ?

  11. #11
    75 Point Level SotallyTober's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by great.success View Post
    That awkward moment when even the wcreplays staff are trolling

    Ive found some pretty good software for monitoring and recording streams, with person detection and such. Now all I need is to find a small and cheap wifi webcam that I can connect to my laptop. The only problem is that thief could perhaps see the webcam on his wifi network ?
    if he could it wouldnt matter. sure he would just think. oh someone in the dorm has a webcam coool hes probably have cyber sex with his gf in a long distance relationship that is defo gonna work out
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  12. #12
    600 Point Level BIG^Dolipp's Avatar
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    Put one of those keyring alarm things on the inside of your fridge door, thus when he opens it it will start piping (PIIIP, PIIIP) and weowing (WIIIOOUUUU WIIIOOOUUU) like crazy and you can run out and catch him.
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  13. #13
    400 Point Level fiRe.power's Avatar
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    Add some laxatives to your tasty food. lol ;p
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  14. #14
    100 Point Level GummyBear's Avatar
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    is it possible its someone who isnt on your floor? could it also be possible its more than one person doing the stealing?

  15. #15
    200 Point Level Orton's Avatar
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    put a tiny little camera inside so they eat the camera then run round and punch everyone in the stomach till the image moves a lot.

    also you could put a fuck ton of chili powder in and then put clingfilm over the toilet seat and see which one has a really bad time.
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  16. #16
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    Ask him if he's a democrat.

  17. #17
    1500 Point Level 4Fun's Avatar
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    it is I, who has been stealing your non fat food. I'm trying to watch my diet and it has been a great success.
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    This could mean the human genome is now back to 50% complete.
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  18. #18
    1500 Point Level LowKeyLyesmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloop View Post
    Put drops of lsd on the food the thief usually takes, but don't use the bunk stuff that ex0 takes that helps you concentrate.
    lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by aime View Post
    I have a serious question:

    This might be a little rude, but do you have a mental disability ex0 of some sort?

  19. #19
    200 Point Level Sinthesis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elven_Lord View Post
    This is why you get your own small refrigerator.
    I am surprised someone who goes to columbia university can come up with something so stupid

    He is leaving his uni, which means he cannot travel back in time.

    And supposing he starts uni all over again, not everyone at uni have an extra $300~1000 lying aronud - I remember I was so poor I could basically be scavenging food out of garbage cans (hence so many food thieves). And, most likely, the food he will lose will not outweigh the cost of a fridge




    EDIT: Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I mean by this example I don't think people in there are that bright lololololol
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  20. #20
    300 Point Level Lambtron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloop View Post
    Put drops of lsd on the food the thief usually takes, but don't use the bunk stuff that ex0 takes that helps you concentrate.
    Please do this.
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